Late Night Rambles

  So it's almost 11 pm on a Thursday when I am writing this. Though that might sound early to all of you night owls, it's quite late for me. It's late considering that I have to wake up at 5:30 in the morning to get ready, walk the dog and commute 50 minutes (on a good day) to a 9 to 5 job answering phones all day. Sure, It might not sound like a big deal, but it can take its toll on you. It's not the job, or the responsibilities, or the commute. It's the repetitiveness of it all. It's how all of the days fog together. How you can't believe it's almost August when you swear it was just March.

  I'm starting to catch myself realising that I've lost track of what's important to me. What my goals are and where I want to be. I've gotten so focused things like my job. Something that first was just a stepping stone to help me afford the next steps to my final goal has become, in a way, my "career". I've gotten too focused on the office drama, too obsessive on doing my job perfectly and too comfortable sitting in the same chair every day.

  It's funny. While trying to focus on making my dreams a reality, I somehow lost sight of that goal.

  So here I am, at 11 pm, wide awake. I'm wide awake with this feeling inside me like things are changing gears. Like I'm being refocused on what the goal really is. And everything in me has told me to open up my laptop and write this post.

  I've said it before and I'll say it again, I love creating new blog posts. I enjoy writing to all of you who are currently subscribers and to all of you who might find this post 10 years from now. I like having my own little space on the internet where I can share my thoughts. I want to find time to write more often. That's something I'd like to work at. That's something I'd like to make more of a priority in my life. Not because I want more views or to make money (although it's always a bonus 😉), but because I really truly love writing and sharing.

  I think what I might do is no longer limit myself to only writing about horse related topics. Don't get me wrong, riding is my passion and will always be a big part of my life and this blog. I just don't want to limit myself to write about just one topic. I'd like to share my thoughts, my creative writing pieces and maybe even what I get up to on a weekend from time to time. The point is, I don't want to put myself in a box and restrict myself to what I feel like I should post.

  I hope that you will all welcome the changes ahead. I just can't shake off the feeling that things are going to change for the better. For me, my goals, this blog... everything. For the longest time I've always felt like I was on a roller coaster slowly being pulled up to the first big drop. As I got closer and closer to the top, I got more and more excited. For the longest time, I've felt like I've been stuck at the very top; not moving. Not going forward, or backward. Just stuck. And it was getting quite a bit discouraging. I've been fighting the feeling of hopelessness for a long time. Feeling as though my efforts were for nothing and that I'll never head down the slope to enjoy the ride.

  But now, I finally feel like the roller coaster is moving again and it's starting to tip forward like it's just about to take off. This analogy may sound weird to you or maybe you, in your life, feel the same way. Or maybe I'm just making this all up in my head and I've never been on this roller coaster to begin with. Whatever the case, I hope you'll stick around to find out. It might be one wild ride.

  Until next time, happy riding!

  (P.S. Sorry if this blog post was all over the place. I guess that's what you get for writing late at night. Thank goodness I took tomorrow off at work!)


Comments